A Season for Change
By Olivia Groeteke
Autumn is coming! My favorite time of the year. The change of seasons always makes me think about changes in our lives, as well. I recently made a big move, and that has brought a lot of opportunities and challenges that I could not have prepared for. Whether you are a student starting a new school year, considering a career change, or becoming a parent, the idea of trying something new is one we can all relate to. It can be scary! For me, it has been transitioning to fully remote work, leaving family and friends, and new routine norms. Here are some of the truths and supports that have helped me navigate my big change.
How do we make that big decision, knowing that it could be really cool and life-changing while navigating all the ideas of what if it fails? What if the what-ifs win? A pros and cons list helped me identify a lot of the logistical aspects about my moving decision. However, if your heart is set on a decision, the logistics usually fall into place. A question I asked myself was, “If I look back in 10-20 years, will I have any regrets?” and “If it fails, won’t I still be okay and have a really cool story to share?” Brainstorming with trusted people can help challenge some of the roadblocks that come up; just be cautious that your loved ones are not projecting their own fears on your life decisions.
Now this might feel like it is helpful for the beginning decision-making moments, but when you are in the middle of it, the idea of aborting the mission may feel a little more appealing. Those are the moments I have struggled with the most. For myself, the initial scary decisions were easier to navigate, but when I could not find a way out, some more negative what-ifs tried to control the moments. Leaning on my support system was key for me, even though it was more digital. I came to realize that holding it all in and trying to appear like the transition was going “amazing! :D” felt like the fattest lie. Being honest with them about my challenges and doubts allowed me to get honest support, advice, and a listening ear, so I did not feel like I was drowning in it alone.
Reminding myself of why I made the change and what reasons were calling me to do it allowed me to practice resilience. Moving away from Nebraska for a while has been something I have always talked about. What are the reasons to see it through? What is holding me back? Looking at what was keeping me stuck empowered me to find solutions. If I do not know why I am shutting down or bursting into tears, I am not going to be able to help myself or ask for help. While we often try to avoid our fears because they are scary, they are there for a reason! I have learned to thank some of my fears and anxieties for trying to protect me, and that has allowed me to be a bit more patient with myself.
There can be so much going on with career decisions or a total routine change that your nervous system feels like it’s on the fritz. Every slight inconvenience feels like climbing Mount Everest. I am thankful to work in a field that talks about coping mechanisms all the time, because I have utilized them so much over the last five months. In difficult moments, I often remembered to breathe in deeply for 4 seconds, hold my breath for 4 seconds, and breathe out for 4 seconds. Getting into nature and focusing on my surroundings with my five senses helped me feel more grounded in my body, rather than staying with my racing thoughts. Practicing gratitude for all of the 89,473 other little things that are actually pretty cool helped me to shift my perspective out of the negative.
Sometimes it feels like you don’t know who you are anymore, and being able to maintain aspects of your identity, whether it’s some of your favorite hobbies, creative projects, or daily habits, allows you to feel grounded in yourself while making space for the changes that are occurring around and within you. No matter how all-encompassing they may feel, remember you are still you beneath the visible changes. Sometimes, through the added life experience of going through big changes, we can feel like we are learning more about who we really are and becoming even more of our authentic selves. I have also gotten to reflect on the parts of me that I didn’t realize would remain important during this transition, such as loving the sweater weather, crisp autumn smells, and my furry best friend, Maeve.
Now, you might ask, “It sounds like everything has been really challenging. Why do it?”
I had felt very comfortable in a routine that was familiar and worked, and when I changed so many of these aspects all at once, it allowed me to really ask myself, “How much do I trust myself?” By doing something outside of your comfort zone, you automatically push your brain to think creatively about problem-solving and trying new things, because there is no other way! This often leads to growth, a stronger sense of self-esteem, and trusting yourself. This prepares you to face challenges in the future, be it in your personal or professional life. And right now, I can focus on feeling proud for doing hard things. My new experiences have connected me with people I would have never met, and they have enriched my life so deeply.
And for those of us who tend to overthink and worry too much, witnessing ourselves get through difficult changes can really help with anxiety in general. So for every doubtful “what if ...” let’s consider the other 50% chance: “What if it turns out better than you could ever imagine?”
This photo was taken by Jill Zlomke circa 2014-2015 in Victoria, British Columbia. All rights reserved.
